A Rose Is Still a Rose

A month ago Roselinda K. Rampp passed away after a difficult battle with ovarian cancer. As this video shows, Rose was deeply passionate about sharing the joy of music with others. She was one my former supervisors at the Levine School of Music and had a huge influence on my professional career. I credit her with playing a part in my decision to pursue a career as an arts administrator. Her dedication to help build not only a program, but a school, that would provide a strong musical presence in the community was inspiring to me.

Before I go on I feel the need to be completely honest. Although I loved Rose, our relationship wasn't perfect. Our personalities and work habits could be very different, so sometimes we butted heads. After I left Levine I pulled away a bit, but in the past year I began to realize how big a role she'd played in my life when I started to apply for graduate school to study arts administration. I'm not sure if I'd be as passionate creating my own performing arts institution at this stage in my life if it wasn't for the experiences that I had working in her office so early in my career.

I hope she knew I thought she was a woman with wonderful ideas and I admired her passion for the arts. Sometimes, I'm not sure if she realized how unique she was. I would say one of my biggest pet peeves with her were the moments when I felt like she didn't. She had a heart bigger than I think her body could hold. If something bad happened to someone she cared about she would start crying before a tear could even fall down their own cheek. She was beautiful and funny. Even after she lost her hair during her first fight with cancer in 2008 her beautiful eyes still shone right through. She was so giving wanted everyone to be happy. As I look around my own bedroom, I see I have so many items that were gifts from her.

When I moved to New York she told me she was afraid I would forget her. How could she think I ever would? The memory of her was long ago tightly woven into the story of my life. I'm still processing the fact that she's actually gone. When I see pictures of her smiling face, it really hits me.

I want to end with a "Rose quote" that I posted on my wall the day after she passed away:

"I love hearing the children sing as they come out of class, give out hugs, and play with each other. Thank you for being a part of our lives."

Actually....when I think about it, I feel like it might be more appropriate to use a quote that accurately sums up our relationship. Well, I know she would laugh at this anyways:

Rose: That's what she said!
Me:...I should have never taught you that.

<3 I won't forget.

Rose and my former colleague Youlee playing a duet at Levine's ECEM Grandparents Day Recital in October 2007

To learn more about ovarian cancer, please visit the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition website.

Veterans = Real People

Today is Veterans Day. It has always been a holiday I've celebrated. Both my grandfathers, my father, and other relatives have served this country in war. Even my mom was in the Marines for a few years. Some of my cousins make up the third generation of our family to join the military. For a long time I views Veterans Day as a celebration of the contributions my family has made to the United States of America. In March 2005 this holiday, as well as Memorial day, took on a drastically different tone for me, That is when my uncle, Lee Arthur Lewis Jr., was killed in action while serving in Iraq. Now it's not just about what we've contributed, it's about what we've lost.

I was thinking the other day about politics. Specifically, I was musing over how politicians use the war as an arguing platform to win votes. The media, of course, sensationalizes the war for . . . ratings I guess? Although lately not so much, because you know, war is kind of a bummer. Especially one that's dragged on for almost a decade. Politicians and journalist (conservative and liberal a-like) often refer to killed soldiers as "casualties." It reminds me of something my mom once said, even before my uncle even went oversees:

"They are not casualties. They are people, and they are being killed."

My mother has a habit of stating very strong opinions, and this was no exception. At seventeen, I remember being very taken aback. I have to admit, I kind of thought she was making a big deal out of nothing. How else would you refer to those who were killed in war? Now that I'm older and I've lost someone close to me The Iraq War, I see what she meant.

Let me just stop for a minute to say this: I'm not going to discuss my opinions on the Iraq War or the Afghanistan War right now. I'm sure I will at some point, because I have plenty to say about how the past and current administration have handled the conflicts. Right now I want to talk about 5805 men and women in the United States military that died in Afghanistan and Iraq in the past nine years.

These soldiers are not just nameless sea of faces. They are real people who had family and friends that miss them immensely. They were sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and best friends. They loved to play basketball, sing, or ride their motorcycles around town. Like a lot of us I'm sure many of them enjoyed a good slice of pizza and a hilarious episode of "Family Guy." Lee was a fan of Dave Chapelle. One time Lee, my cousin Evan, my aunt Eola, and I were sitting around my grandparent's house trading lines from the first season of "The Dave Chapelle Show," crying laughing the whole time. This is one of my favorite memories because its was such a great example of how funny my large and chaotic family can be.

I will always remember Lee's funeral at the Arlington Cemetery. In addition to Lee's tombstone, there were hundreds of white slabs lined up from the previous few years alone. There were even gifts and pictures left behind from recent visits. I cried because I knew hundreds of other families were feeling the pain of mine. We weren't the first, and we would certainly not be the last. In fact, it could even be us again. It's an incredibly sad and helpless feeling.

Loosing someone is always extremely difficult. Every holiday, every birthday, and every family get together may be the time you realize yet again: "He/she is never really coming home." Some days it hits you worse than others. Just the other night I was laying in bed when I began crying because I was thinking about Lee and my cousin Donnie, who drowned in 1999. These emotions are coupled with the nagging feeling that Lee was lost to some big complex political cause I can't completely understand and no one can properly explain.

No matter how you feel about the war, please remember veterans are real people, not some vague American ideal. They are men and women that are dying and fighting to preserve the qualities we all love most about American life. They have honor; they swore they would go to war no matter what, so they do. They are not just numbers you can use to fuel your political arguments. They were real people,  never forget that.

 

If you would like to find out what you can do to help support veterans and families affected by the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars please visit the Coalition for Iraq + Afghanistan Veterans website for more information.